The Prognosis of a Passionate Man (Part IV) (poem)

But this was learnt in the hardest way
Through years of errors,
Mistakes, and powerful consequences.
The awful things I've done

Have scarred us all, but I marvel at
The tissue, and I remember the wounds:
Caused by my own weaknesses. In short,
All of my problems are my fault.

I never used to blame myself. I called it
'Philosophical depression'. That it was,
But I simply couldn't handle the facts.
I ran. I hid. I medicated.

We often do: but now I embrace
My fear. Honestly: I don't fear death
But I do dear dying. I'll miss a few certain people
But I won't miss the lying.

I won't miss the boredom, but
I will miss the pain. I will forget
The bullshit, but I won't
Forget your name.

I was young, I was weak;
Life was hard, dark and bleak:
But I've grown in my reflection --
I don't fear life -- or death -- I respect them.